111 Reasons why I felt it was important for me to keep my low/no contact boundaries with my late narcissistic mother

This is a list of reasons I personally found it important to keep my low/no contact boundaries with my late narcissistic mother. I am now sharing this list with fellow survivors of narcissistic abuse! My intention for sharing this is for you to gain clarity as to why your boundaries with the narcissist in your life are important to keep. Feel free to bookmark this list and refer back to it any time you find you’re gaslighting yourself and need a reminder as to why you’re protecting your peace.

1. To save my emotional and mental health

2. I feel a sense of peace and calm I have never felt in my life when my narcissistic mother is not around, and I’d like to feel more of this 

3. I’m not responsible for my mother’s happiness, and as an adult, she should’ve sorted that out before imposing existing for her onto me

4. She is an adult and was the adult the entire time, making the adult decision to manipulate me during my formative years

5. So I can gain clarity on what happened throughout my life without her changing the narrative to make herself look better

6. She has consistently shown me that she will never respect my boundaries

7. The incidents at my wedding/birthdays/funerals/holiday events/etc

8. No more screaming at me

9. I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and my mother consistently fails at this

10. I can take the space and time I need to heal from the emotional wounds caused by my mother’s behaviour.

11. My mental health and emotional well-being are more important than maintaining a relationship with someone who consistently puts me down and invalidates my feelings.

12. I have a right to set boundaries and protect myself from further emotional harm.

13. Going no contact can help me break the cycle of abuse and dysfunction that often comes with having a narcissistic parent.

14. I deserve to surround myself with people who uplift and support me, rather than those who bring me down and drain my energy.

15. It’s important for me to prioritize my own needs and wants, rather than constantly trying to appease my mother’s demands and expectations.

16. Even if I meet her demands and expectations, the goal post will get changed anyways so there is literally no point 

17. I will waste less time on literally pointless things 

18. I am going to die one day regretting the time I wasted trying to appease an extremely self-centred woman

19. I deserve to have a sense of peace and calm in my life, which is impossible with my mother in my life. 

20. Going low or no contact can help me develop a stronger sense of self-worth and self-esteem, which can be diminished when constantly exposed to a narcissistic parent’s criticism and belittlement.

21. I have a right to choose the people with whom I want to have relationships, and it’s okay to cut toxic people out of my life.

22. It’s important to remember that I am not responsible for my mother’s happiness or emotional well-being, and that it’s not my job to constantly cater to her needs and wants.

23. Going no contact can help me break free from the guilt and shame that often comes with having a narcissistic parent, and allow me to focus on my own growth and development.

24. I have a right to live my life on my own terms, rather than constantly being pressured to conform to my mother’s expectations and ideals.

25. It’s important to prioritize my own physical and emotional safety, which can be compromised when dealing with a narcissistic parent.

26. Going low or no contact can help me break free from the feelings of obligation and duty that often come with having a narcissistic parent, and allow me to live my life more authentically.

27. I deserve to have healthy and fulfilling relationships, which can be difficult to achieve when constantly dealing with a narcissistic parent’s manipulations and drama.

28. I am not responsible for my mother’s emotional reactions

29. It was actually my mothers job as a parent to teach me what to do with my emotions, instead she made me responsible for her emotions and made my childhood all about getting her emotional needs met. This is literally not normal. 

30. I can finally break free from the constant need to seek my mother’s approval and validation, and allow me to develop a stronger sense of self.

31. I have a right to be happy and fulfilled in my life, rather than constantly being dragged down by my mother’s negativity and drama.

32. It’s important to prioritize my own mental health and emotional well-being, which can be severely impacted by a narcissistic parent’s behaviour 

33. Going low or no contact can provide me with the freedom and autonomy I need to make my own decisions and live my life on my own terms.

34. I have a right to feel safe and secure in my relationships, and it’s okay to cut out people who constantly make me feel anxious and unsafe.

35. It’s important to remember that I am not responsible for my mother’s behaviour, and that I don’t have to tolerate it just because she is my mother.

36. I can break free from the cycle of emotional abuse and manipulation that comes with having a narcissistic parent, aka I can unf*ck my mind without her interference!

37. I deserve to live a life filled with love, joy, and fulfillment, and going no contact can help me achieve that.

38. No more constant criticism and belittlement.

39. Goodbye gaslighting and manipulation.

40. But seriously how fantastic would it feel to permanently say goodbye to emotional abuse and neglect!?

41. No more double standards and unfair treatment.

42. No more dealing with my mother’s lack of empathy and understanding.

43. No more invalidating my feelings and emotions.

44. Guilt-tripping and blame-shifting be gone.

45. No longer having to deal with inconsistent and unpredictable behaviour.

46. Threats and intimidation tactics I now can see right through 

47. Conditional love and affection is all I will get from this person and I don’t deserve that.

48. No more unnecessary toxic communication and conflict.

49. I won’t be forced to suppress my true self.

50. Won’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the freaking time 

51. Maybe I can figure out how to get rid of the constant need to seek approval and validation.

52. And learn how to deal with the fear of being rejected or abandoned which I’m sure has something to do with my upbringing too

53. No more being made to feel like I’m always in the wrong. 

54. Or being made to feel like I can’t do anything right 

55. Or made to feel like I’m stupid

56. The stress and anxiety that comes with talking to her.

57. No more feeling like I’m being controlled and manipulated.

58. I can finally learn how to set healthy boundaries.

59. I’ll feel less drained and exhausted.

60. No more having to constantly justify my actions and decisions.

61. I’m not obligated to cater to my mothers needs and wants, she is an adult.

62. She is an adult. 

63. Seriously she is an adult. 

64. The constant need to be perfect in order to avoid criticism.

65. She can’t make me feel unimportant and insignificant anymore

66. The lack of emotional support and nurturing that I will never get from her

67. I will no longer feel trapped and helpless.

68. The constant drama and chaos that comes with dealing with a narcissist in general! 

69. No more dealing with the fear of being punished or rejected for speaking my truth.

70. I want to live my life authentically and on my own terms.

71. I no longer feel the constant stress and anxiety of dealing with my mother’s behaviour.

72. I will be able to focus on my own needs and desires without feeling guilty.

73. I have more time to pursue my hobbies and interests.

74. I have a greater sense of self-worth and self-respect.

75. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s verbal and emotional abuse.

76. I will have more energy and feel less drained.

77. To be able to form healthier relationships with others.

78. I will be able to set boundaries and assert myself more effectively.

79. No more constant walking on eggshells

80. I can finally learn how to trust my own instincts and judgments more readily.

81. I will no longer be made to feel responsible for my mother’s emotional well-being.

82. I will be able to focus on my own emotional needs and healing.

83. I will no longer be made to feel guilty for taking care of myself.

84. I will be able to have a greater sense of independence and autonomy.

85. I will no longer be forced to participate in toxic family dynamics.

86. Maybe I won’t cry every time it’s my birthday/other holiday my narcissistic mother always made about herself

87. I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of myself or my choices.

88. I will be able to cultivate more positive and supportive relationships in my life.

89. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s manipulation tactics.

90. I will be able to live my life on my own terms.

91. I will no longer be made to feel like I am not good enough.

92. I will be able to build a stronger sense of self-confidence.

93. I will no longer be made to feel like I am constantly walking on thin ice.

94. I will be able to prioritize my own well-being without feeling guilty.

95. I will no longer be made to feel like I am constantly in the wrong.

96. I will be able to break free from the cycle of abuse.

97. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s gaslighting and mind games.

98. I will be able to build a healthier sense of self-esteem.

99. I will no longer be made to feel like I am constantly failing.

100. I will be able to set goals and pursue them without feeling held back.

101. I will no longer be made to feel like I am a burden on others.

102. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s drama and chaos.

103. I will be able to have more control over my own life.

104. I will no longer be made to feel like I am constantly at fault.

105. I will be able to build healthier coping mechanisms and strategies.

106. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s mood swings and tantrums.

107. I will be able to create a more positive and fulfilling life for myself.

108. I will no longer be made to feel like I am constantly under attack.

109. I will be able to develop healthier communication skills.

110. I will no longer be subjected to my mother’s manipulation and control

111. This was never my burden to carry anyways